Slytherin Pride Day!

I have so many feelings about being a Slytherin. When the books and films were released, I always thought myself a Gryffindor. Everyone did, right? Because the main characters were so brave, adventurous, and were highlighted prominently. Pottermore obviously changed that, when I placed the virtual Sorting Hat upon my virtual head and was sorted into Slytherin.

I became depressed, not in the usual way, but in the way that my geekdom had failed me. How could I be a Slytherin? I kept imagining Draco Malfoy’s sneer as he told me “You’re stupid, you don’t even deserve to be in the same house as me.” But that was my problem. I had this perception (no thanks to the films) that Slytherin were these snooty, know-it-all, selfish, conniving jerkwads. I’m not any of those things, at least I don’t think so. I stand up for my friends, I get shit done, at least I could be a little Ravenclawish. But no. Slytherin. It’s in my blood. It’s in my Meyers Briggs profile. (INTJ watup!)

It took a year of me denying the fact that I was sorted into this house before I started to feel comfortable with it. Here’s a truncated list of Slytherin qualities:

  • ambitious
  • cunning
  • strong leaders
  • achievement-oriented

I’ve come to realize that those qualities, in the mind and body of a teenager (like the films and books) make them exactly those snooty, jerkwads that teenagers tend to be. As an adult, Slytherins are much more relatable. Yes. I am ambitious! I have so many projects on my table that sometimes I get overwhelmed. Cunning? Hell yes I am! I seduced my husband with my wit, and particular knowledge about ubergeek stuff that I knew he would dig. I’m also proud of my ability to encourage others to get to the end-game so I don’t have to. It’s part of my enabling scheme to help others. I get off on helping others, too, so it works for everyone. Strong leader? Holy shit, this will take a paragraph.

I hate leading. I hate it so much I italicized it. I’m not fond of being the center of attention. But I’m a badass leader. I like things to be done in a particular way, and if it’s not done to my exact specifications, it’s garbage. So, to prevent more garbage, I have a habit of just sliding into a leadership role. For example, being a guildmaster for years in a MMO and moderating other groups. I guess you can say that I hate garbage more than I hate being in a leadership position. I used to get paid to tell people what to do. I thrived.

Playing video games my whole life taught me to be achievement oriented. Like I talked about in my previous entry “So My Therapist Told Me to Start a Blog,” I crave that little endorphin rush whenever I achieve a specified goal. Especially if there’s little blips or happy pop-ups celebrating my achievements.

Also of note, Merlin was a Slytherin. It’s standard for all Slytherins to name drop Merlin because he was always considered badass. Those that know me in real life, I have an unnatural obsession with Arthurian legend. I connect with the different variations of the story. The Dark Tower by Stephen King is one of those variations, and I believe the Man in Black / Walter / Randall Flagg / Maerlyn, (he has many names) etc., also known as the main villian, an underthing to the Crimson King, had to have been Slytherin. He manipulated Roland Deschain’s path to his advantage, so that Roland could learn what he needed to learn, bond with whom he needed to bond with, lose what he needed to lose, and grow into what he needed to be before he climbed the Dark Tower, his life goal. I relate to the Man in Black. I see why he did the things he did.

So looking back at my behaviors, I was always a Slytherin. I needed a stupid online test to tell me that, but it just helped me embrace myself in a healthier way.